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His mate. The weak, pathetic creature was not fit to be his Luna. She was beautiful, yes. As all mates are to their other half, she was everything he found physically attractive in a female. Hair as dark as a raven's wing and wide, cornflower-colored eyes, and such a petite little frame. Tiny in fact. She had been the average weight for her stature, but being mated to an Omega had made Jeremiah try to find anything unattractive about her that he could point out and use as a weapon against her. Perhaps if he had pushed her far enough, she would have taken the decision out of his hands and done away with herself, leaving him blameless.
Well, not entirely blameless. She had been far stronger than he thought, and had lasted thrice as long as he could have imagined. Who would have thought that an Omega, a subservient little bitch, could be so resilient? That was until he had beaten her until her heart had weakened and her body was almost unrecognizable.
He had shifted in anger and slashed at her body with his claws, pushing back the wolf mentality inside him that wished to shield his mate from harm. Even now, the beast inside him snarled and spat at him, yearning for its mate as completely as Jeremiah tried to block out his need for her. A need he never thought he could feel for anyone.
Why couldn't he have been paired with someone with a little clout, of a higher echelon? Why did it have to be her?
While his heart and mind had warred with each other and his inner wolf, he found himself moving closer to her at nights in the bed that they shared in his home. Her unconscious, eyelashes fluttering in the throes of REM sleep...it was the only time he could allow himself to breathe in her intoxicating scent and relish the feel of her small, soft body fitted against his. He couldn't let her see that he did care, because he wouldn't allow himself to become attached to her and the weakness she brought out in him, the tenderness he never allowed anyone to see. Not since she died when he was still young.
And damn Giselle's family. While he was mauling his small, defenseless mate, he didn't think of what he would tell her parents, her brother. And when they came around looking for her the day before, he had told them – no, promised them – he would look for her until she was found. In fact, he had lied outright and told them that he'd had Carter searching everywhere for her. She had gone out one day and hadn't come back, he said to them. And then he lied again and told them he had been searching since she went missing but had been keeping it a secret since he had been planning on announcing her as Luna by the end of the month. He alleged he didn't want his pack to know he had lost his mate.
Lies, lies, and more lies, until they piled up on top of each other and hid the truth. He had no plans for letting anyone know – ever – that he was mated to a lowly wolf with the low ranking of Omega, and never would. He needed a strong coupling, one with a female of higher standing, one who would give him strong children through their combined blood. Blood of an Alpha with a Gamma, Delta, or Beta bloodline. He would settle for nothing less.
And then to top everything off, they couldn't even find her body. He was certain that they would at least find her corpse, even if it was only bones. His “search” for his mate, and the Kincaid's youngest daughter, was turning into a real quest to find the dead body of Giselle Kincaid. He could not stop until he found some trace of her.
His mind told him she was gone, and a part of him – most likely that of his wolf – mourned her, but something, some indecipherable thing inside him, knew something wasn't quite right.
Carter thought that perhaps some animal had drug her away and feasted on her body in the privacy of its own den, but even with all the caves and caverns in that part of the state, they should have at least smelled her decaying body. So far they had come up with nothing, not even a trace of her, except for that fleeting scent off to the west that Jack had mentioned.
Perhaps she was far stronger than Jeremiah had thought and she was still alive somewhere, being tended to by humans or by another pack. He knew it was doubtful. He had seen the death in her eyes, but...there had been something else. A light, almost like she was glad to be going, and that made him ill at the thought of it.
And sleep. Sleep. Ever since she hadn't been around to lie in his bed with him, it had been infrequent and fitful. It made his usual bad temper even more pronounced and he found himself snapping at everyone these days. Even Carter, and the man was his best friend.
A knock on the door brought Jeremiah out of his thoughts.
"Come in," he called out, his weary voice sluggish with exhaustion.
"Jere, any word?" Carter asked as soon as the door was closed behind him and they were alone.
"None," the Alpha told his friend. "How can she have just vanished into thin air? Something should have been found by now. Even a scrap of fabric, unless vultures or mountain lions eat cotton as well meat."
"Well, you know what I think about it all," Carter told him, nodding his head.
"Yes, I know," Jeremiah said quickly, his temper threatening to flare up again. "But I don't buy it. If the men don't smell her, they should at least smell her corpse – but nothing!"
"Well, the only thing we can do is keep looking, and if she's not found within a week or two we can declare her dead and have a memorial or something. Closure for her family and friends," Carter said.
"I suppose," Jeremiah said, his heart sinking fast. Again, his wolf rioted in the back of his mind, wanting to find her – the woman he was destined to be with, but couldn't.
"You never wanted her in the first place," Carter reminded him bluntly.
"Y-yes, you're right." Only it didn't seem true, because it wasn't. She was all he could think if, even more so now that she was gone. Dead(?) and gone. "But...it doesn't feel like she's gone. I would have felt something, wouldn't I?"
"You never marked and mated, so we will never know for sure," Carter said, jaw tightening in agitation at his friend.
"You think I'm a fool," Jeremiah told him, nonplussed.
"I...yes. Yes, I do." Carter wouldn't lie if the man asked him a question as such.
"Do you understand why I can't have her?"
"No, I don't understand, but I am not an Alpha."
"She'll weaken me, weaken the pack," Jeremiah claimed, his voice low.
"She would strengthen you and our pack," Carter disagreed.
"She's an Omega."
"And your destined. Mistakes in matings aren't made unless we carve them out for ourselves," Carter said, biting back the harsher words he wished to say.
You fucking fool. Too focused on your power to see that your mate is your better half, that she would temper your rage if you would only have let her in.
But Carter was glad he had helped the little would-be Luna escape from what would certainly have been her death. If not the physical one, then her spiritual demise under the authoritarian Alpha, Jeremiah Bluth.
Chapter 8
"Jeremiah?" Liam didn't need to repeat the last name. He knew it all too well. Or, at least he thought he had. The man had been a friend of his when they were children.
Elle cocked her head uncertainly and then nodded.
"Blond hair, brown eyes? Beauty mark on his left wrist in the shape of a mushroom?" Liam asked, trying to make it clear they were speaking of the same person.
Elle's eyes widened in fright. Liam knew the man.
She stood up from the bed, looking ready to flee the room at a moment’s notice. Hell, she was ready to flee the state at this point.
She knew it had been a bad idea to talk about this with a man she hardly knew. Or in this case, write about it. She was sure Liam was going to send her back to him. Mates weren't meant to be apart, no matter what the circumstances.
The tension in the air made the atmosphere thick and cloying, and Elle's feet moved away from the Alpha on his bed. As she was about to make a break for the door, Liam stood up, one hand held out in a halting gesture.
"Stop, Elle," he said. "I won't tell anyone where you came from, and I won't contact Jeremiah. I promise you this."
> She didn't know whether to believe him or not, and she bent her knees slightly, legs spread in a defensive stance. He may be an Alpha, but she would not go quietly if he meant to bring her back to Blackriver Pack.
"Elle, please listen to me," Liam's voice was serene, almost drowsy, and it calmed her somewhat, though her emotional feelers were still out and testing the flavor of the air.
Slowly, Liam made his way over to Elle and placed a gentle hand on her elbow in an attempt to calm her and bring her back toward the bed so he could have his say.
"It's true that I know the man," Liam told her, a cautious Elle following him towards his bed. "Most Alphas have at least heard of the each other, particularly the ones that live close by our territories. Jeremiah, though – he is someone I know personally. Or I should say knew, because we used to be friends at some point."
The way Liam said Jeremiah's name with distaste made Elle feel marginally better. There was bad blood between the two – that much she could tell.
"At one point when we were young, I would have considered Jeremiah Bluth one of my closest friends," Liam admitted. "That was until we were in our teens and his mother passed away."
Elle blinked big eyes at him, nodding for him to go on.
Liam relaxed, sure Elle would hear him out and not run from him, at least for the moment.
"There's about one and a half years age difference between Jeremiah and I," Liam began. "When I was 13 and he was going on 12, Jeremiah's father decided that being Beta of Plumbrook wasn't good enough for him and he decided to challenge the old Alpha of Blackriver, Elias Grady. Elias had 5 daughters before his wife bore him a son. It was thought that his mate could only bear him females and many thought him too weak to lead the pack. Word got around that his female was pregnant again and, this time, they got confirmation before the birth. It was going to be a boy and Jeremiah's father, Jonas, decided to strike and take over his pack.
"Jonas timed his attack carefully and some say he had a spy within Blackriver who would tell him when Elias was at his weakest," Liam explained. "When Elias' mate went into labor, Jonas attacked and defeated Elias, who was quite distracted by the birth of his son. He was killed just as his son, Tobias, was being born. The Beta of Blackriver was livid and fiercely loyal to Elias. He went to attack Jonas to keep him from ruling the pack, and instead ended up killing Jeremiah's mother, Lucinda instead."
Elle had heard a version of the hostile takeover before from her father who loved studying the histories of his pack, as well as others. It suited him as a hobby since he was a teacher by profession. Still, everything her father had said almost sounded like a fairytale, some story that happened in some far-off land instead of on the territory she had lived and grown up on. It was almost as if she was hearing this information, for the first time, from Liam.
"Jeremiah loved his mother dearly and was distraught," Liam explained. "After her death, he became cold and distant, not speaking to his friends and swearing he hoped to never find his mate. Once he hit puberty, he changed his tune and he started to say he hoped his mate had strong blood. Gamma or better. You see, his mother had been an Omega before she had been mated with his father and Jeremiah always thought that because she was an Omega, she was too weak. I think his distaste for...mating with you stems from all of that. He thinks that if he has a mate of “low” blood, he will lose her as well. I don't think he hated you; he just hated what you are."
It made sense to Elle. She had been too young to remember much of what had happened. She was only 7 at the time of the exchange of power to the Bluths, and it had been overnight and swift. Too swift for another challenge to come Jonas Bluth's way. Especially after he had killed the Beta who had accidentally killed his mate.
"Elle," Liam said softly. "I'm not saying that what he did is understandable or right. I'm just simply giving my opinion on why he may have rejected you for your status in the pack. Personally, I have no problems with Omegas, were I mated to one or not."
Elle nodded and grabbed the notepad that had been discarded on the bed.
Why did you say he was your friend? What happened that tore you apart?
Liam looked at her and sighed.
"Elle, do you remember when I told you that if you told me your story, I would tell you mine?"
Elle nodded, wondering how this pertained to her mate.
"Well, the reason Jeremiah and I no longer speak has to do with my past," Liam told her, piercing her with his intense cerulean blue eyes. The color of them seemed to change with his mood.
Elle licked her lips, wetting them, and watched as Liam's eyes flickered to the motion and then back up at her irises. She nodded again with her head, gesturing for him to go on.
"Jeremiah...after he pulled away from his friends and became the cold, calculated monster he is today, only remained close with two people in his life," Liam told her. His Adam's apple worked up and down as he swallowed loudly around the threatening lump in his throat.
"He only remained tight with his father and his sister," Liam said, his voice low and husky. "His twin sister."
Elle was confused. All the time she had been with Jeremiah, he had never mentioned his sister and she had assumed he was an only child.
"I see that you are confused, little wolf," Liam told her, wishing he didn't find the look on her face so freakin' adorable. It pinched at his heart. "Listen closely. All will make sense soon."
Liam got up from the bed and walked over to his dresser. Opening a drawer, he sifted through his socks and came out with a small photo album. It was brown leather with gold engraved lettering. Liam seemed to weigh it in his hands for a moment before bringing it back toward the bed and setting it down in his lap. He breathed deeply for a few moments before opening it up and quickly flipping through the pages.
Elle could see that many were of Liam and what she assumed was his family. An older gentleman with a woman, the woman being the spitting image of Liam with her dark hair and startling clear blue eyes. They were vibrant against her pale, creamy skin.
Liam flipped the pages until he was a third of the way through the album. Slowly, he flipped another page and turned the book around to show Elle. He pointed to one photo in particular of him with a female with flaming red hair and chocolate brown eyes.
The female appeared to be late teens or early twenties and was being held by a smiling Liam. She was perched on his knee and he had his arm around her waist. They both looked happy, and she wondered how old the photo was.
"That is Cecilia, my mate," Liam told her.
Elle startled, and looked up at him.
Mate? But...what?
"Cecilia came from your old pack, Blackriver," Liam said. "I met her the year I turned 21 a few years ago. At first, I was ecstatic to have finally found my mate. I wouldn't have to attend The Claiming and find myself a female from the other unmated she-wolves. I had wanted my own true mate, not a cheap imitation.
"At first, everything was great. Unicorns shooting glitter out their asses and the like," Liam said, a small, sad smile on his face. "When things started to go south, I knew something was off about Cecilia. She..." Liam blinked and sucked in a steadying breath before continuing. "She started to act strangely around the time we marked and mated. It was like she was a different person, and I would sometimes find her mumbling to herself when no one was around."
Elle looked at Liam, concern in her eyes. This must be why he didn't sleep well. His mate – wherever she was – was obviously unwell. It was a blow to him, to be sure.
"I convinced her to go to the pack clinic and Doctor D'Amato ran some physical and psychiatric tests to find out what was wrong with her," Liam looked down at the photo and then back up at Elle. "She was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia, meaning she heard voices that weren't there. Sometimes, the voices would tell her to...to do things. To herself, to others. She was prescribed all types of medications for the condition, but once she felt well enough, she would stop taking the medicine, thinking she was miraculo
usly cured. But mental disorders are not like infections. They don't go away with a rigorous course of antibiotics. They're...for life."
Liam pointed to the photo and tapped on it.
"This was the last photo I have of her before she became really ill," Liam said, brows knotting together over his sculpted nose. "I couldn't bear to take photographs of her when she was unwell. She was disheveled and I didn't want any reminders of her illness. This is also the only photograph I have to remember her by."
Liam looked at the photograph one more time and closed his eyes as he shut the small book with a soft clapping sound.
"Elle, Cecilia passed away at the age of 20," Liam told her. "She had stopped taking her medication and the voices...they came back. They always did after she stopped taking her medicines. Satan, the ghost of Hitler, FDR – they were all people she imagined that spoke to her, telling her to do...evil things to herself and others. Once, she tried to suffocate me in my sleep because she believed I was trying to slowly poison her food. She had to be sedated and hospitalized for a full month. When she came out, she was a zombie. Flat affect, no personality. She was like a completely different person. She wasn't my Cecilia anymore. She was a medicated shell of a person and I hated it. But, I loved her and would have done anything to see her happy and well."
Liam put the book away and came back to the bed before hunkering down in front of Elle and placing a warm hand on her knee.
"Cecilia killed herself about two weeks after she left the hospital," Liam croaked out, his jaw twitching. "She pocketed her medications in her cheek and then spat them out the window into the snow."
Elle slowly raised her hands out to her sides in a how gesture.
"She slit her wrists before hanging herself in our bedroom," Liam said, eyes bright and glassy. "I guess she wanted to be sure she got the job done. But – that's not all.